You shook your head, didn’t you. Maybe even chuckled a bit, then probably looked over your shoulder quickly to see if anyone had noticed what you were looking at. It’s normal, because we get it a lot. Just like that chick with plastic upgrades told you last night, this website isn’t just a hot piece of “ass”; we actually have brains, college degrees from respected (okay, maybe a stretch there) universities, and an offensive, usually funny sense of humor that you really won’t find anywhere else. Seriously – we looked, and that’s exactly why you and I are sitting here today.
Our goal at Glitchoris is to bring cool back to the video game industry, one appallingly-awesome article at a time. You see, our sometimes-sober staff of editors, writers, and mercenaries could honestly care less about the latest Pokemon game coming out, or about how the newest Linksys firmware update is going to revolutionize wireless G routers forever. Here at Glitchoris we only review the games that look cool from inception, because in our opinion that’s all that matters. If they end up sucking, oh well – at least we told you about it. If we’ve offended you and your Pokemon t-shirt, boo hoo.
Original content at Glitchoris is our middle name; nothing will be regurgitated except for maybe the eight Heineken’s we drank during last night’s Goldeneye multiplayer session – “Not now chief, I’m in the fuckin zone!” Homemade editorials, blunt reviews, and heavy doses of sarcasm are what you can expect from us right now, although in the near future we’ll be seriously upping the ante as we make this bitch our full-time job: complete with our own online television show (Keep an eye on Shitshow TV above!), a live (sometimes) radio station (okay, just podcasts, but lots of them), and another major, major social media gaming experiment that is absolutely classified Top Secret right now, so you’ll just have to wait for that one.
Before I ramble too much, I’d like to formally welcome you to Glitchoris, and the Glitchoris Network. Our goal is to take over the gaming industry; if I were you I’d hop on the train now. Did I mention there’s a fully-stocked beer cart?
