The thing about Bulletstorm isn’t that it’s over-the-top. It’s that it’s not over-the-top enough. We want this game to wake up in the morning, slam a venti coffee, wash it down with a Red Bull, then eat a bowl of sugar-coated steroids.

More Playtime

Close-range weapons. We’re not through the whole game yet, but we’re mid way through chapter five, and the best short range weapon we have is a shot gun. Now granted, it can separate a man from his naval, but I’ve been quietly hoping for a sword or some type of intergalactic pike. Leash a Skull from fifty feet away from behind his hiding spot, over a small intermediary obstacle, and just tee off with the iPike.

Epic incorporated, rather nicely too may we add, a chainsaw feature in Gears of War. Now, maybe Epic didn’t want to cross-breed weapons across games, and we wouldn’t blame them for keeping the chainsaw a trademarked item within the company. However, something close-ranged may add longevity to playtime.

Environmental killings. So far we’ve slammed a man into an overgrown cactus, impaled another into metal gate cross bars, shocked one to death by flinging him into elecro-flies, blown up another three with one explosive barrel, and choked a man to death by flinging other-worldly fruits in his face. Oh, and I kicked a man into a venus fly trap that would make Serena Williams jealous.

We want more. I’m not even up on new suggestions – we’re more than comfortable leaving that to Epic Games.

Less Playtime

Repetitive enemies. We know that creating a new enemy for every twist and turn is too time consuming; we also understand that Bulletstorm doesn’t even do a bad job here. However, the change ups with enemies in different parts of the game really shakes things up. Sometimes we can’t leash the quicker, littler guys, and that keeps us more on our feet.

Ineffective writing. We had to play for a solid three chapters before we gained any amount of emotional involvement with the characters. It’s not like they keep talking over gameplay or cutscene us to death, but for as much as this site enjoys swearing up storms and creating new ways to use old words, hearing Grayson and Trishka throw around “dick” so much is more annoying than humorous.

Stalking Sarrano
We’re only about an act away from charging head first into Sarrano, the reason Grayson kamikaze’d his and everybody else’s ass right into Sarrano’s spaceship. We’re having an easier time sitting through longer playtime bouts than with Dead Space 2, so expect a final review in the next day or so.