Doling out advice for the masses on Father’s Day, President Obama urged kids to put down the controller and pick up a book. Following is the thought process that my brain endeavored:

Why is Obama saying this?
Because he needed something fatherly to say. Alright, I guess? But this seems too contrived. If we’re going to herald Obama as being a smart motherfucker – there has to be something more to this.

Is he posing video games as opposite of books to show them as contradictory?
This probably was his intention. Not in a Zoolander-esque “not books” mind you, but rather as a stark contrast to the enlightenment of books.

Then is he saying that video games are a waste?
Yes. He’s fucking telling American children to read instead of play video games. Now, maybe he didn’t mean to say all games are a waste, but that’s how it’s coming across.

Why do I think like this?
Because I’m a high school English teacher – and as much as I want children to read and gain greater literacy and strengthen their ability to decipher allusions, Obama just told the younger generation to stay away from arguably the largest media market for them.

What I’m taking away from this:
Obama just told an entire generation of kids to put down the controller and pick up a book. Going by the general rule that kids will do exactly the opposite of what they are told (you, me, and the kid down the street growing up were no different), he may have actually just pushed more kids into gaming.

Thanks President Obama. Free advertising is great.

Trailers are interesting things. They’re created to build enthusiasm for a new release, but sometimes they transcend the medium and open our eyes to a whole new world.

Gears of War did this back in 2005. Dead Island‘s trailer emulated the success and even brought Giles Lamb some coin from iTunes in the process.

So here are the trailers of 2011′s E3 (the ones we liked the most):

Skyrim

The level of detail is remarkable. Gameplay footage shows all of the wandering glory of Oblivion with upgrades worthy enough to reach the Playboy mansion. We’re looking forward to exploring the constellar talent trees as much as we are the free-flying, roaming dragons. Skyrim releases on November 11, 2011.

Assassin’s Creed: Revelations

Ezio is back, and from the looks of it, he’s going to murder everybody. He’s also seeing Altair walking in his midst, so that means we have a man in an animus living through a man in his memory who is seeing someone who isn’t really there. Wonder if this game comes with a free hit of ecstasy. AC: Revelations will be released November 15, 2011.

Tomb Raider (We know…)

It’s been years since Tomb Raider was a relevant game. But this trailer shows something afoot in the world of Lara Croft. We think it’s attitude. Gritty fucking attitude. We hope it plays that way at least. Tomb Raider hits shelves Fall 2012.

Mass Effect 3

Commander Shepard will probably blow up the whole fucking universe, but it’s a fair trade as long as we get to hear more one-liners and snarky comments. And Garrus. Lots of hype on this game; we need a heavy payoff. ME3 will be released on March 6, 2012.

Dead Island

We love the follow-up trailer to quite possibly the best trailer of the year. Now that a good chunk of gameplay footage has been released, we are excited to start another zombie massacre. Dead Island releases on September 6, 2011.

Amy Hennig comes across as either impervious to apparent failure or so charmingly resilient to roadblocks that we can’t help but be impressed.

Described by Ben Fritz for the LA Times, Hennig is “In charge of all creative decisions, including writing, casting and design” for Naughty Dog. Big job, but for Naughty Dog’s Amy Hennig, she’s learned how to manage, well, everything. Continue Reading

Glitchoris loves telling you what’s up.  Like the time five years ago when we posted about a short-lived energy drink called “Sum Poosie.” We never drank any of it, but then again it didn’t come with a clearance label from the CDC.

This time, however, it’s about the supposed next-gen Wii.  Nintendo is leaking information to the press at the rate that would make B. Arthur’s morning routine look fast and furious.   Continue Reading

To all who want true love,

Remember to give more than you get;

Glitchoris only wants you happy,

Maybe you have not found that person yet.

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