We at Glitchoris tend to pass on sports games.  Obviously.  But when I saw NBA Jam up for release, I could not pass up the opportunity.  Only so many video games have directly influenced modern media, and this resurrection of the original NBA Jam deserves our attention.

*Disclaimer: Glitchoris does not deem NBA Jam a good game.

The Guilty Pleasure

Not “a” guilty pleasure when it comes to sports games…”the” guilty pleasure.  Telling your friends you loved the old Sonic games is not only alright, it may become chic.  When watching John Travolta rip up the vocals in Grease, you are getting warmer.  But if you hit three baskets in a row without the other team scoring you are on fire!

Back in the sixth grade *cough* when Olympic Day meant something, and boys sweated at the thought of asking a girl to the next dance, NBA Jam was the video game.  For some of us, this was the era of the instant reset the moment someone ruined your perfect record just so, technically, your record remained perfect.  While that intensity is gone (sixteen years have passed, folks), the nostalgia remains.

He’s Heating Up!

The first thing your beloved braintrust at Glitchoris speculated over was what the ball would like when it is on fire.  Many advances in gaming technology have since erupted, so we figured the ball might look like one of the three below objects:

1. A flaming meteor summoned by Sephiroth

2. A flaming, magmic (it’s a word; I looked it up) mass so bright that you struggle to look straight at it for more than a second

3. A flaming stellar metallic rock that burns through the opponents’ flesh if they try to steal it from you or block your shot

However, much to our dismay, it actually looks like a fiery basketball.  An educated person may be led to believe that progress would be made.  Evidently not.

What may be worse, on my first test run, when I caught fire, I air balled a straight away three pointer.  I must be mistaken thinking that being on fire meant I hit all my wide open three pointers.

The Usual Suspects

We all knew EA would be bringing back Ewing and Starks.  What we hoped for though would be the ability to make our own player.  You know, a freakishly tall white guy that resembles a stretched version of our 5’10″ selves who can shoot the rock and block every shot taken.  Nada.  Another aspect of the game yet to evolve.

EA did place the new faces with their new places.  Lebron is on the Heat, and Amar’e is on the Knicks.  I’m happy they sorted that mess out before the release.  We also have the option to cycle through an inventory of playable characters.  I think this was EA’s way of not pissing off the rest of the not top-two players on each team.  Because, realistically, only die hard basketball fans will swap out Wade for Bosh.

Mid-game thoughts coming soon! Especially because once you have played just one game, you have basically played the entire game.