You may not want to marry one of them, but you will take her home and ravage her in bed.  This type of carnal pleasure is not random – it’s Kojima Productions. Continue Reading

For most video gamers, Final Fantasy recalls multiple times in our lives.  We biographically catalog specific years with which game we played.  For me, Final Fantasy VII marked the end of my senior year in high school (2000).  That was not when it was released, which was much earlier in 1997, but rather when I popped the old school black-back disc 1 into my gray squared PS1.  Final Fantasy X takes me back to my junior year of college after my back surgery.  I figured I liked FFVII and FFVIII a great deal (even though I fostered a love/hate relationship with FFIX).  Might as well give myself something to play while I lay on my side and let the stitches heal up.

But then FFXII released.  I was pumped.  I, like most overly-eager obsessives, pre-paid for the game and strategy guide.  I sectioned off a full week from work and duty, with fond memories popped the disc into my dusty PS2, and plopped my nicely healed back onto the couch.  It wasn’t until much later that I realized the game was…well…mostly fluff.

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Whichever person on the staff of 2K Marin that decided  on not including an inverted y-axis option for gameplay should be punched in the balls.  As a corollary, the rest of the staff that bought into this idea should be have their faces downgraded with a shovel.  Seriously, did Rocksteady devs loan out their team to 2K Marin on this one to subversively fuck up the gameplay?

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I recently picked up Rob Sheffield’s book Talking To Girls About Duran Duran.  Sheffield, a contributing editor for Rolling Stone, recounts life’s hazy yet magical memories growing up in the 80′s through a series of songs reminiscent of a mix tape.  One song triggers recollections of the dangers of crossing a bridge on his way home from school if the high schoolers got their first.  Any and every American school boy has been in this situation.  Actually, in light of today’s health crisis, this is a good way to make kids walk a little bit more every day.  Plant a bunch of older, scarier, but emotionally hollow kids in their path home.  Adios weight gain.

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