Technology, Intelligence, and balls for days can all be attributed to Rockstar’s summer release: L.A. Noire. Rockstar has turned its name into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Continue Reading

I think Dead Space 2 is what Singularity was trying to do.  Visceral Games just did it better.  Much better.

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Ezio is a badass.  Desmond…we’re working on him, but Ezio?  A badass.

The third installment of Assassin’s Creed delivers like your mother’s coffee cake on Christmas morning.  It’s hot, guey, and keeps you coming back for more every fifteen minutes.  The last few months have adorned our consoles with Black Ops, Castlevania, and New Vegas, but Brotherhood keeps me coming back to my couch more than the rest combined.

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First it was the pistol.  Then, it was the sniper rifle.  Then the sniper rifle again.  After that came this time, and the sniper rifle again.  So how does Halo keep the game fun when every installment levels out with the same weapon and same theme?  For Bungie, they just made the game look prettier and move faster.  Just like that one girl you hooked up with last spring break.

We Have The Technology…

“But Tebo, you can’t just say the sniper rifle is the only good weapon – you have the markman rifle and that gun that shoots a freaking laser!”  Yes I can, and I just did.  The machine gun is as effective as a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest.  The needle rifle is great if your target just happens to be J-Lo and hanging on the block.  I’d risk a near (or even far) no-scope miss rather than empty a clip into the visor and still not even drop my enemy.  The sticky grenades are still really fun; especially on multiplayer when you see a teammate bull charge into an enemy crowd.  ”Did I stick that on your back?” I follow this up with my familiar Van Wilder chime-in comment: “Whaaaaaattt?”

“But Tebo, you can even drive forklifts.  Anything civilian, just drive it!”  Yeah.  I’m on a genocidal interplanetary mission to exterminate an entire alien race, and I have the intelligence to charge in with a fucking fork lift?  No thank you Romeo.

Multislayer

The only thing more fun than blowing shit up is blowing shit up with your friends.  Story mode is fun, and I do have some reservations about its lack of evolution regarding gameplay.  However, the multiplayer aspect is as much fun as it has ever been.  Actually, I feel the progression of the multiplayer system pushed the story mode to be what it is in Reach. We have more modes to play, more difficulties within them, and a much faster engine behind our footsteps (or jetpacks!).

The versatility with which to customize your gameplay is unparalleled.  Want to be able to sprint?  No problem: grab the sprint upgrade.  Rather hide in plain sight?  Swap out for the invisibility mod.  Afraid of being penned down between three adversaries?  Just snatch the armor lock upgrade.  Also, after you get some credits and increase your rank, you may find yourself stockpiling points to save up for a new visor or other armor upgrade.  With everything Reach promises its dedicated players, you will not be disappointed after twenty hours of grenades and headshots.

Topography Is My Specialty

Remember what I just said about jetpacks?

Now you can manage moving around a map with less downtime and more shooting-people-in-the-head time.  For me, the only thing more fun than double kills on a jetpacket is sniping someone in the head while they are on a jetpack.  It reminds me of that one scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indiana shoots the guy instead of fighting him with a sword.

More maps, more nuances, and even more fun.  With the last installment of the Halo series, Reach has delivered in the outset.  Mid game thoughts coming soon!

“Beautiful.  Holy shit!  Fuck you, Poseidon!  That was bad-ass!  Eat me whore! (That was for my neighbor who was yelling at me to turn down my TV) Wtf – when did Gaia get boobs?”

You wanted my initial thoughts on God of War 3, well, there they are and in perfect chronological order.

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