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Bulletstorm Mid-Game Thoughts

No Comments 02 June 2011

The thing about Bulletstorm isn’t that it’s over-the-top. It’s that it’s not over-the-top enough. We want this game to wake up in the morning, slam a venti coffee, wash it down with a Red Bull, then eat a bowl of sugar-coated steroids. Continue Reading

PS3, Reviews, Xbox 360

Dragon Age 2 Mid-Game Thoughts

1 Comment 28 March 2011

DA2 is your ex-girlfriend’s hot roommate who you just bumped into at the neighborhood Starbucks. You talk a little bit, realize there’s a spark, then two nights later you are making out on your couch. Even if you really liked your ex-girlfriend when you were together, you somehow forgot what it’s like to be with a good kisser. Oh, and the night is not over yet…

PS3, Reviews, Xbox 360

Dead Space 2 Mid-Game Thoughts

2 Comments 28 February 2011

Dead Space 2 resembles the woman in the room that just isn’t as hot as you really want her to be. Shallow? Yes. Honest? Yes. Would we still play her? Quite possibly. Continue Reading

Reviews, Sex, Xbox 360

Fable 3 Mid-Game Thoughts

3 Comments 15 January 2011

Fable 3 is playing like the twenty-two year old hottie at the town bar. She’s hot alright, but the moment you start analyzing the situation, you keep saying to yourself, “She’s just a kid…”

PC, PS3, Reviews, Xbox 360

Fallout: New Vegas Mid-Game Thoughts

1 Comment 26 November 2010

As is the case with most video games, the longer you play them, the more you notice the small things. Fallout: New Vegas is no different. I mean, on a thematic level, New Vegas does not offer an entirely new genre to the video gaming industry. It has created its own battle system (V.A.T.S.), and the world the story takes place in is a novel idea. However, it’s the small things that will keep you playing.

PS3, Reviews, Xbox 360

Medal of Honor Mid-Game Thoughts

No Comments 17 November 2010

Remember Ghost Recon? The first one? It released about the time of Splinter Cell. With the earlier, we had an army-esque based tactical extermination squad, and the latter was an infiltration based game where stealth was your best friend. Medal of Honor bears trace elements of both of these games. It’s not, “Let’s storm this airplane hanger and shoot the fuck out of everybody in the process.” It’s more go with the flow of the storyline. Sometimes you ambush a small pack of Taliban, and sometimes they ambush you. Like my initial thoughts post began, this game is just a metric shit ton of fun.

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Reviews, Xbox 360

Halo: Reach Mid-Game Thoughts

2 Comments 07 November 2010

I had a great opening segment for this mid-game review, but then I thought better of spoiling it for all of you who haven’t finished, or started, the story mode.

I really hate to write something like that and then not use it.

*Sigh*

*Further sigh*

I will have to make a post about a month from now with the original content…

But the review must go on. So without any further adieu, here is what Halo: Reach can use a little more of and little less of.

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PS3, Reviews, Xbox 360

Dragon Age: Origins Mid-Game Thoughts

1 Comment 23 September 2010

Role playing games are not meant to be short. If they were, they wouldn’t be any fun because you wouldn’t get much sense of accomplishment after beating one. Without using any actual data, or empirical evidence to back up this coming sentence up, I would bet that the average RPG completion time from this current generation of gaming, and even the last one as well, sits lazily around 25 hours per game. Maybe even as low as 20 hours. Now while this is most definitely a post for another day (and ideally with some actual fucking research, and not Ron Burgundy’s, “It’s science”), I would have to give the credit to the rise of action/FPS RPGs, and development and publishing companies trending towards the more casual gamer. Well gentlemen (c’mon, like any females actually willingly read this site), Dragon Age: Origins is not meant for the casual gamer. Hit the link below for the detailage.